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| Photo by Patricia Ort |
As always, the Zanders made me really think about how a person could change their mindset in this way. When Ben Zander speaks of apologizing, he does it in a completely different way than I, at least, am used to. I think it is a good idea to apologize to others when we've offended or hurt them. But Ben's approach also includes not blaming himself. In the letter he wrote where he gave himself an A, he admitted his faults but didn't really say he was sorry to the violinist directly. He also didn't ask her to come back to the orchestra, although she did.
As usual, I spent some time thinking about how this might apply to working with the at-risk teens in our program. If, as Zander says, this approach allows you to turn relationships into effective partnerships, how might that work at our alternative high school? Right now, we are planning a totally different concept for next year. Rather than teaching in our own little boxes, the English teacher, the math/science teacher, and I (social studies/computers teacher), are going to team teach using a project based learning model. We are especially interested in building relationships with the teens who enroll in our program. Reading Zander's thoughts about "being the board" really fits the conversation about how to build good relationships with our new students.
I'm a creative person, so I really liked the thrust of Chapter 11. I think most people are happiest when they are creating. There is a special energy that fills you up when you are working in synergy with others, making something new and different and exciting. I think my colleagues and I feel that way, when we are not being distracted by things that seem to have gone wrong at school or are trying to find someone to blame for the situation. Hmmmm. I am glad we are reading this book at school. I think a shift in a positive direction would be very good right about now.
I think perhaps one of Zander’s most powerful statements is this, “I have come finally to the realization that relationships with my colleagues, players, students and friends are always more important than the project in which we are engaged, and that indeed, the very success of the project depends on those relationships being full of grace.”
ReplyDeleteOver the past year, I have valued relationships more than ever before. I started attending a new church about year ago whose direction focuses on three short summaries of the Bible: truth, relationships and community. Through this, I have begun to appreciate and work towards having strong relationships that are indeed, full of grace. What joy and liberation that comes when you are willing to share in this kind of relationship! It quickly opens us up to a world of possibilities, as Zander says.
I think that in your situation, teaching at an alternative school, of how powerful of a position you are in to build relationships with those who truly need a healthy relationship that is full of grace and possibility. I wish you the best as you take the challenge of Zander’s words and prepare for next year.
I have truly appreciated reading this book also. The blame game is one that we play from a young age. It is at these tender years where the intervention needs to be placed; teaching and practicing being the board at a young age would have a ripple affect up to those of us who teach teenagers. So many times I have had a teenager in my office crying out blaming how others have affected them and my response to them is a set of questions: What was your role and actions? Explain to me how you would react the next time in this situation. Most of the students will list their own actions and then ponder on how they can correct the situation so it is not a blame game. I did like how you mention that us educators are distracted by what has gone wrong and trying to pin blame. Unfortunately, so many educators are guilt of the same behavior as our students.
ReplyDeleteAs always I have enjoyed your reflections and views on the readings for the week. It was a ‘heavier’ week than the others with blame, apologizing, being the board and such being not just meaty in content – but in what they mean to us. I agree with you that the way Ben Zander speaks of apologizing is different than what it has meant for me in my life, so to with regard to blame and those aspects he mentions. There is always that drive to blame – but the situations that resolve themselves the best are where time is not wasted in that direction but instead on pushing to complete what needs to be done. I am also inspired by your direct application of this reading into your unique work environment with the project based learning model! That should be one awesome journey – hopefully you will get some rest from the equally awesome EMDT journey! ;)
ReplyDeleteHi Pat!
ReplyDeleteI loved your picture you shot, by the way, it’s awesome Pat! Amen to that about the blame game. I agree, it is challenging because it is so easy to ‘assign’ blame when everything goes ‘tango uniform’ on you. I know, I blame Skype constantly for the bad connections and dropped skype calls! But then, it probably IS Skype’s fault in that case! No, but seriously, being the board instead of the piece is akin to removing yourself from the problem or going outside yourself for a minute. That is really hard to do isn’t it? I have tried this actually, and it was not something that came easily like say, shooting a picture or listening to a song on iTunes…
Actually, the story Zander tells about Cora the violinist was interesting, I liked his “A letter” he wrote her, it was really concise like he is. I like that he admitted his own faults and found it interesting he didn’t actually apologize for his outburst in so many words. I felt he did apologize in a sense by admitting culpability. What mystified me a little was that he didn’t mention ‘how’ she came back to the orchestra, only that she ‘did’ come back. I would have loved to have been a fly on that rehearsal room wall the day she did come back wouldn’t you? Great post as usual Pat!
I am definitely interested in hearing about the implementation of the new project-based learning model in your at-risk high school. Given your experience in the EMDT program are you encouraged or even able to share some of the insight you've gained while in our project-based program. So curious...
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